not as clear cut as you think

Darlene Morgan
Jun 1
7 min read

I want to say something about this post that I saw a couple weeks ago. (In photos)

I’ve tried to let it go from my mind as much as possible but even right now as I write this I either want to scream or cry. My heart is pounding and not from the usual anxiety but from some hard emotions I have not felt in a long time. Specifically, after each one of my siblings died from cancer.

And before anyone says, why not just reach out and tell the person how you feel - well, I will do that as well.

The reason why I want to talk about it here is because you never know a person until they show their face behind a screen. And another reason is - not only the person who wrote it but also the people who follow this person and like this post become part of the problem we have in our country at this time and that is … Division, Lack of Empathy, and Cruelty.

Also, if you think following a leader or someone like this does not affect you and it all seems good and fine - —- well, much like the Kansas weather - give it 5 minutes before that changes and suddenly you find yourself caught in the tornado of destruction too.

This post is about as insensitive and ignorant as when someone tells a victim of domestic abuse that he/she just ‘needs to leave the relationship.’

That is not how it is.

No abuse is clear cut.

No cancer is clear cut.

I had 4 siblings. And 3 died from cancer and each one suffered differently.

My brother found out he had liver cancer and I don’t think it was 4 months later he was in the hospital and died.

Yes it happens.

Who are we to EVER decide what is a ploy for attention when it comes to a deadly illness??!!

I am ashamed the person who wrote this appeared to be an upstanding individual in our community. Trust me, once it is on social media - that spreads faster than wildfires before your image is tainted. Yes, I am well aware of this. Although, there are people out there whom others won’t stand up to for various reasons and if you don’t feel you can then what exactly does that say about you and them?

Maybe you are an acquaintance of theirs or a friend and you don’t agree with something they said, yet you do not have the guts to tell them for fear of how that will make you look or how it can damage the connection. Something else I know? If you cannot be honest with someone who you see on a regular basis or you find it difficult to confront them about a sensitive subject that means your relationship with them is not real and it requires more work than it should.

Because someone who writes awful words like this does not have compassion for people. So confronting them may do no good. They may laugh in your face or call you too soft. I personally would rather be too soft and say something to them than allow it to burn my soul because these days … life is too short and if you have a chance to make a POSITIVE difference in your little corner of the world then I encourage you to do it.

We need that more than ever now.

Remember, you NEVER know who is reading what you write and how it can trigger them. Let alone hurt them. Someone is always going through something.

I suspect this person’s life is ‘perfect.’ So it gives them the right to judge others.

Hmmm, who was perfect? And is the only judge that we can trust? #john316

The other insult to this post like many others I see are - they are a Christian and it is this kind of talk that damages other Christian’s and profiles all of us. I see it now as I work with young adults who are trying to find honest meaning and purpose. I don’t want them to look at me and immediately think as a Christian I am one to judge their style, color or choices.

That is not who I am. And thank God, I am showing them true love of Christ without even having to speak of it.

I believe in showing and doing as Jesus did and that was to love others and stand up for the sick and oppressed …. and pretty much for anyone who feel they cannot have a voice in this country for fear of retribution.

***[Side note: I find it interesting that I have fear of our own ‘president.’ I just thought that the other day - what does that tell you?]***

Speak up in an appropriate way AND demonstrate a righteous anger … as I am doing here. Jesus was kind but He also knew when was the right time to speak up.

Christ has taught me that. I learned it the hard way by saying terrible things on social media that left many to not trust me let alone unfriend me. I needed that realization.

It humbled me and it helped me to focus on my true beliefs and change the hardcore person I was. And … it also taught me how to speak up in a more virtuous way.

My heart still pounds as I write because this hurts me and makes me mad.

I don’t have my sisters or brother anymore. And if someone dared came to me and said - you sure your brother only found out about his cancer a few months before he died …

I would have to look them in the face and say - you have no idea what another goes through and even if he did why do you care?

Maybe he didn’t want others to know!

Maybe at his age he was just trying to live out the rest of his life without the cancer cloud hanging above it!

A person who suffers from cancer has their own way of fighting it and it’s nobody’s business to decide their reason why.

So shame on you for thinking you can judge why Biden didn’t tell anyone.

It’s called dignity in the face of death.

No matter your status, if you have a terminal illness, how would you face the world when people are already making fun of you. You are all bullies to do this. And you are the reason there is atrocity in the nation now and you are showing others that you accept living this way.

As you follow someone who circulates this to our country you begin to take on those Machiavellian ways. https://www.britannica.com/science/Machiavellianism

And soon before you realize it - it has no limits and will be used against you too.

This is not the way to live. But who am I to tell you this? Maybe you like the idea of making fun of the elderly or people of color and you laugh because why? Ask yourself why you would do this? Then, put your face on social media with a deadly disease and listen to the whispers of ‘I bet she had it all along…’ ‘I bet he couldn’t handle telling people.’ Listen to the whispers. Listen to the deceit. Even the ‘strongest’ person will feel hurt by it. And so will their family. These are real people. And remember, your life can take a turn at any moment or worse that of your loved ones.

Then remember if you are without sin throw the first stone at the person you are making fun of. The name for that is hypocrite. #John8v7

And if you think your ‘sins’ aren’t as bad as someone else’s regardless of their status trying telling your child, spouse, partner or friend that when you see the hurt in their eyes because you did something that made them feel 2 inches high and ask them to compare their pain to that of someone in an elite position. Pain has no margins- it can attack anytime.

I have gone through plenty of pain but I’m using it to help others now. Still, it does not mean I don’t feel it. Even long after the loss.

God allowed me to go through it all to show I can make it … and stand up and speak up for the right things. The right way.

That’s my rant. And it feels darn good because there is a wide gap of economic and social status of what I do for a living and the person who wrote that. Why is this brought up? To show you no matter the status or the authority - a person needs to be called out for showing your community they are lacking morals and integrity.

It’s also to show you that those of us who are not in positions of prominence can speak in perhaps … a more realistic sense. And we can better connect with others because … ‘we ain’t like them.’

I truly care and don’t hesitate to show it and speak about it. I am getting older with less years so I want to share my experiences and thoughts in hopes it inspires more to stand up to the bullies of this world.

I’ll NEVER speak ill about a person who suffers from cancer. Even if I didn’t agree with how they operated a business or a nation.

To me - that says a lot about the person who does and whom they follow. … and who follows them.

Is that the person you really want to be associated with?

God be with the person in their family who may get cancer and chooses when to talk about it.

And God be with us - may He show us when and what to say for His Glory.

1 John 3:17

Psalm 72:12-14

#cancersucks #bemorelikeJesus #nofear #believeinyourself #standuptobullies #anxietyattacks #diary #journal #prayfirst #believeinyourself #life #thinking #shiftingthoughts #singlemomlife #unmakingamess