repurposing contentment
Just another blissful day at home - working out in the yard! I have never felt so content. In my entire life. But, as I write those words, I make myself think back to if there actually was another time when I felt good about who I was. There was another time. It was right before mom and dad divorced. As I continue to write my life stories, I realize how unseen I was and how so many times, I did not want to be seen. I mean this with the absolute sincerity of my heart and so
10 hours ago5 min read
i am here and thank you
I have been on a roll since I took my first solo trip to Arkansas. It was so revealing and taught me many things about who I am. As soon as I got back, I was determined to turn my front room into a similar floor plan like the room I spent much time in at the Airbnb in Ak. Right down to getting me an authentic 1980's turntable and a 1978 receiver. Plus some Fisher speakers which actually are perfect for the room. The guy I bought them from at the record store explained how t
Jun 246 min read
see the world
This past weekend marked the end of a chapter for my oldest daughter and her boyfriend. They met at Baker and have become quite the intentional couple. Her boyfriend is going back to Wales 🏴 for a notable career position as he was unable to acquire a job here due to the new restrictions placed on international students by the ‘US administration.’ I have to look at this as meant to be. It is a very good job that not many have a chance at. —-My daughter will be goi
May 186 min read
fallen
I am in despair. I don’t want to be this way. Perhaps if I just got up from this couch and walked around I’d feel better. But I don’t feel like it. My body and mind are telling me to rest. Rest Darlene. Let it reside and don’t allow it to control you. We have all the power we need when we give Jesus our problems. He will be with us. We just need to allow Him to take over what worries us. The trouble is - pain is felt. Pain inside. Sadness. Hurt. Regret. Shame. Anger. I am not
May 136 min read
my tactic
I just love this. In my … past years - all too often others attempted to use my past against me … until I finally came to terms with it. It - being my past. And honestly, I wanted to beat people to the punch when they would tell me they were going to share who I was and what I did - using this tactic as a weapon against me. No way was I going to let that happen. If anyone was going to share details about me - it was going to be me. I figured, everything I did was no differe
Mar 192 min read
a dream for all
I am usually ready to honor Martin Luther King, Jr. day as soon as possible. Granted I have been gone most of the day, we did get home from the annual MLK volleyball tournament in KC around 3. But as soon as I got home, I laid down on my bed. I was so tired. Yet, thinking about King and what his intention was for our country has been on my mind all day. I read a post that had his quote about capitalism and the effects of it on society. An individual remarked how he disagree
Jan 195 min read
i dislike parenting
I dislike parenting. I dislike parenting. I dislike the part of parenting when you have to disappoint your kids and make decisions for their own good. And when you do you feel like sh*t because then they are mad at you and sad over the decision at the same time. And yet, you know in the long run it’s the healthy decision for them they just don’t realize it in the moment. You know what I dislike about parenting the most? Doing it alone because then you have to take the entire
Jan 32 min read
