it's a God thing

Darlene Morgan
Oct 19, 2024
8 min read

I have not been on here for a really long time.

In fact pretty much since I got my job at the agency, I think it goes to show that for me, it takes me a while to get to a place in my life where I can juggle a handful of things and prioritize my life these days.

If you're new to my blog, I went through quite a health scare back in December 2023, which left me understanding how much it means to take care of myself. After visits to my doctor, I went to a therapist and began an anti-anxiety med and I've had to cut out a lot of things in my life in order to survive and move forward in the healthiest way possible.

For me, being healthy physically and mentally is incredibly important; as a single mom that has three girls who do not have a dad it has been very eye-opening and to take care of myself, it meant letting go of a few things and even though those things were really difficult to let go, I knew how important it actually was for me to do that and move forward and live a more content simple life.

I really just wanted to get on here and update you guys so that you had an idea of what I've been doing lately since I've been absent. It means a lot to me to put some things in writing because I do live a more transparent life, and I want to do that because I know for a fact that a lot of the messes that I've been in and have created are a way for me to use those messes to help somebody.

I don't want anyone to ever feel like you've gone through something and you're feeling ashamed or guilty of it like I have done.

I don't want you to feel like you have to hide who you are. I mean we're all human, we all go through something and each one of us has a story to tell and by doing that it's an opportunity to connect with others and lift each other up. I also think by helping others it helps us.

I don't want us to forget who we are or not forgive the problems that we have in our lives. We have to give ourselves tons of grace. There's a lot of truth to be said when you are going through something and even though you know you're capable of being able to be strong and press on it's still important to reach out to others who can extend a hand to you.

Remember those who are close to you and whom you can trust, be honest with - it's a way for you to get through some of the challenges that you have in your life.

What have I been doing? Well I started at my job and it's absolutely incredible. It does mean that I'm working approximately 20 to 25 hours a week which is not much unless you include I'm still doing things for the shop. At least I try to do something for the shop every day, even if it means meeting with customers, conducting interviews with the other owner, putting things on social media ...

My daughter has been playing volleyball for school and so she has usually a couple of matches a week and then tournaments on the weekends. It's not every weekend which is good so it kind of gives me an opportunity to get caught up on home tasks.

I try very hard to continue to walk and exercise as much as I can because I know how important that is to me to maintain this healthy weight that I have finally gotten to and how good it is for my mind and soul.

When I get out there, I get those endorphins going it just really seems to clear everything up for me that I dwell on or I worry about. It's also an opportunity for me to get close to God and send him those prayers that are on my mind.

I MIGHT have an opportunity to sell my half of the shop. I was approached by a business and we met with them and had a discussion. Nothing is finalized nor confirmed so I continue to pray about that because I think it's important that whoever it is that takes over my half of the partnership is someone that can continue to reinforce those morals and values I believe in. So that is on my mind and definitely a prayer to God on a regular basis.

It feels really good to be able to actually not have something to say, yet be comfortable to know who I am now and write about normal random stuff.

I was actually talking with my girlfriends earlier; we message each other on a regular basis as things come up in our lives as an opportunity to lift each other up in prayer for one another and make each other smile and laugh.

I messaged them earlier because I had a couple dates earlier this week with a man that was younger than me and that was exciting. It was fine and I'm not talking about insanely younger. No, I'm not weird or anything like that. Not that that's weird. I mean OK I'm just saying it's not weird unless he's like really young. He was only 10 years younger and we went out a couple of times. The first time we went ax throwing which was incredibly fun and if I got anything out of it, it was that ax throwing is not as dangerous as it seems. I know it could be, but it's definitely something that I'm gonna take my daughters and my girlfriends to do. It was a blast and the second time we went for lunch and for a walk.

The rest of the week I had ongoing things like my daughter had volleyball out of town and I went to that and then a few days later I was invited to photograph a woman's retreat at a hotel and spa an hour and a half away. I told the speaker (who is also a friend and associate) that I was willing to do it even though it's not really my specialty to photograph candid stuff or retreats; she knows that my specialty is sports action photography.

I was willing to do it in exchange for a night away, which was an incredible blessing because that is something that I have wanted to do for myself. To be able to go away for an evening where I can relax and get away from everything and read, eat good food, go on a walk and guess what I got to do all that along with photographing these women who were so fun in ADDITION to listening to the speaker who was incredibly uplifting and purposeful.

So it was a huge win for me and I call that completely orchestrated by God.

Okay so back to the younger guy; we went on a couple dates and were texting on a regular basis, but as I went and did my own thing it was like all of a sudden there was this disconnect and some comments in our conversations that made me feel as if he's really looking for someone that has some more sedated life - which is definitely not me.

I didn't hear from him the entire time I was gone although, I could have texted him as easily, but when I got back I messaged him and said that I felt like there's a disconnect and I was happy to talk about it by phone. I didn't hear from him a that's OK. I think that is also a God thing because it made me realize that as much as I really want to meet somebody, I am perfectly content meeting someone to enjoy it a night out and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

I think we have to be completely mature adults to let the person know it's not what we want or if we want to see each other in a few weeks and do the same thing such as a night out that's OK too.

I'm just happy to realize that about myself. I told my girlfriends that and how content and happy I really am right now. I count my blessings on a regular basis and realize that the only way I am actually going to meet someone is when God brings him into my life. God is going to open my eyes in ways that I cannot imagine so until then yeah I'll go on dates here and there and just see what happens.

I'm gonna tell you something at my age. I never thought I would be where I'm happy and content. I know that things can always go wrong. Things are going to come up in my life and they're constantly going to challenge me. They're going to cause me to question my faith and who I am but I think what's important is I feel like I have finally gotten to this more stable area of my life and that is monumental to me. I want my daughters to see this and to know that without God I could not gotten to this place.

I feel like when I write or record I have to have something horrible or dramatic happen in my life so I can show you how I'm handling it. However, as I was on my walk today, I realize that is a stigma I have placed on myself, as if there has to be some type of chaos to show myself and others that I can get through it.

Maybe for me, it is better I simply ramble on about daily life stuff and not feel like I have to come up with new information or new content, but instead be a shining light in your day and lift you up as well.

God will let me know what to say and how to say it, so I'm gonna try to remove myself from that phase I've been in for several years where chaos has surrounded me - where I place chaos there - where I have those messes and where my life doesn't feel regular unless there's chaos.

I know a lot of you understand where I'm coming from and I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with that. You are gonna be where you're at for this time and don't feel guilty about it. Don't feel ashamed. Just understand that you're gonna get through it and if you're not content with it then do what you can to be content and find some type of simplicity in your day.

'You're stronger than what you believe' sounds cliché, I realize that, but I think only until we can look back at those days like I have been able to do - I AM able to see where I was stronger than I ever could've imagined and you know that's what's important. 'You gotta believe in yourself' is another cliché, but it's absolutely true. You have to believe that you are where you are for a reason and what's more important is that you have people around you that you can trust and be honest with so they can support you and lift you up.

I am here for you and I WANT to be here for you. Shoot me a message. My email is always going to be in the comments. I am willing to listen without any type of judgment whatsoever. I think that is really important as human beings that we are here for others without judging persons and we can be ourselves.

Yes, I am a Christian. I am someone that totally believes God has saved me and is my savior. I also want to be someone that Jesus knows I'm trying my best to be as he would expect me to be.

Anyway, I love you all! Please share, subscribe, reach out to me however you can. Leave your comments! I would love to hear from you and just know that God is with you no matter what, no matter who you are and no matter what you're doing - he is there for you. Ask him to come into your heart, into your mind and into your soul because with Him all things are possible; He does not make things go away however, with Him, he does make it possible to get through it.

Love you - take care and I will be back very soon.

#datinglife #prayfirst #believeinyourself #thehereandnow #life #thinking #beingcontent #singlemomlife #unmakingamess